You’ve been mentoring for a while now, and you’re still not sure if you’re good at it. You think maybe you are, but then other days, you wonder if your mentee would be better off with someone else. How do you tell? Are there certain metrics that will help you know when your mentees are going? We’ve compiled a list of questions for mentors to ask themselves to see how effective they are. Read these and get started!

1. Are you asking your mentee the right questions?
Asking the right questions is key to mentoring someone. If you aren’t asking the right questions, you’re not going to be able to help your mentee succeed. Think about the questions you ask and make sure they are helping you get to the root of the issue. How well do you know the person? People form strong emotional attachments to people they mentor. How well do you know the person? How did you get to know them? Do you check in with them regularly? It’s necessary to gauge how well you know them at the beginning of the mentee-mentor relationship. You don’t want the relationship to fall apart at the seams because you tried to help someone you knew wasn’t ready. What role does money play in your life? What is the role of money in your life? Whether you’re your own business, what industry are you in? What do you make? How much are you paid? Who pays you? How do people react to that money? How does your mentee feel about the money you earn? The difference in your socio economic status can help or be a hinderance to the relationship how is this managed?

2. Are you giving actionable feedback?
If you’re giving feedback and you’re not getting the results you want, make sure you’re giving actionable feedback. Actionable feedback is feedback that has a solution to the problem. If you’re giving feedback and you’re not getting the results you want, make sure you’re giving actionable feedback. Sometimes mentoring new people requires you to challenge yourself. But what if this battle is worth it? You feel like you’ve raised someone’s game, and that’s worth a lot! Mentoring is all about putting yourself out there and watching what emerges. It may seem like this question wouldn’t do much for your mentee, but it drives home how critical your relationship is going to be. If the new person doesn’t have the right attitude about how you’re mentoring them, then it may be detrimental to the relationship. Your mentee should feel like you’re the safest person in the world when they come to you. And should feel that way, day in and day out.
Trust me: I’ve been there. Sometimes you need to make fun of yourself to make your mentee feel good, and you need to do this in a non-inferior fashion. You know how it feels when you have a great idea; you test it, and it doesn’t work? Now imagine trying to test that same idea again and again and it still doesn’t work. This would be terrible, but it doesn’t have to be this way. You could always make up a pun or make fun of yourself to make your mentee feel good and inculeded while you change your approach.

3. Are you really listening to what they say?
Being a brilliant listener is about more than just hearing what people are saying, it’s about understanding the true meaning behind what they’re saying. Listening is a skill, and it’s a skill that you can practice and get better at.Ask yourself a few questions about conversations you’ve had. What emotions were being expressed? There’s a lot of beauty in simple, white language. Laura Ingalls Wilder once said, “The simple plan that’s familiar to you lacks all usefulness, unless you understand it to the true depth of its meaning” Speak like Grandma when she’s telling you a story this can sometimes help.
The first people you should pay attention to are your grandmothers and your aunts. They lived a simple life, but they knew what they wanted. They relied on their knowledge to bring order to their lives. What would they be afraid to ask for?
You may not believe it, but asking for nothing can make people appreciate you more. It instills a sense of obligation and a sense of caring. But if you’re a mentor and feel like you’re asking people for too much, it’s difficult to take on tasks that make you feel more obligated.
Acknowledge that feeling and ask yourself how many people you can ask to walk your dog for no reason at all. If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll find the people asking for things way outnumber the people you give to. The reason for this is that people are scared to ask for so much because they think it will come across as demanding and pushy.
Yet, asking people for absolutely nothing discourages them from asking for anything in the first place.
So find the balance and do not be afraid to ask and be asked for things.

4. Do they feel your support and trust?
Do your mentees feel like they have your support and trust? If they do, they will feel more motivated and have a better attitude. If your mentee doesn’t feel supported and trusted, they will lose motivation and have a poor attitude, which will affect the outcome. How do you measure success? Are metrics enough for you? Do you need benchmarks to stay motivated in this relationship? Help your mentee think about metrics to stay motivated. When they answer yes to at least three metrics, determine which one is the most important. To help make that happen, remain current on there latest news and developments. Mentees need a little pressure, but you may need high-level of knowledge to assist them. Do not fear reaching out to other mentors or your support network. Be honest with your mentee it is ok to state I will find out for you. Mentors should never need to feel like they are “marketing themselves” or “selling themselves.” It takes too much energy and can make mentees feel vulnerable. The information you gather during good question can help you have the best outcomes for your mentee.

5. Is your goal to help them find their own path, or do you want to control them?
When it comes to your mentees, it’s important to remember that your goal isn’t to control them, but to help them find their own path. You don’t want to be a leader; you want to be a guide. It’s about helping them realise their own potential and helping them find their own path. There are various ways of mentoring but they all need to start with love , honesty, trust.